How to Manage Up Without Coming Across as a Suck-Up

Managing up is a valuable skill that can propel your career forward, but it’s a delicate balancing act. The goal is to work effectively with your boss and align with their priorities, all while maintaining authenticity and avoiding the dreade label of being a suck-up. Here’s how to manage up without compromising your integrity.

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Managing Up

Before diving into the strategies, let’s take a moment to address some common mistakes people make when trying to manage up. Avoiding these pitfalls is crucial to building a strong, respectful relationship with your boss without coming across as disingenuous.

1. Overloading with Communication

   • While it’s important to keep your boss informed, bombarding them with every little update can backfire. Instead, focus on communicating key milestones and progress. Strike a balance between keeping them in the loop and respecting their time.

2. Prioritizing Flattery Over Substance

   • Complimenting your boss might seem like a good way to get on their good side, but relying too heavily on flattery can make you seem insincere. Focus on delivering results and providing value instead of just trying to win their favor.

3. Ignoring the Bigger Picture

   • Managing up isn’t just about pleasing your boss—it’s about aligning your work with the broader goals of the company. Avoid getting so caught up in your boss’s immediate needs that you lose sight of the larger objectives. Always consider how your actions contribute to the company’s success.

4. Failing to Set Boundaries

   • It’s important to be helpful, but constantly saying “yes” to every request can lead to burnout and resentment. Learn to prioritize tasks and set boundaries when necessary. Being clear about your workload shows that you’re organized and focused on delivering quality results.

5. Not Being Authentic

   • Trying too hard to manage up can sometimes lead to behaviors that feel inauthentic. It’s crucial to stay true to your own values and communication style. Authenticity builds trust and strengthens your relationship with your boss over time.

Now that we’ve covered what to avoid, let’s dive into how you can manage up effectively without falling into these traps.

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1. Align on Shared Goals and Communicate Clearly

To effectively manage up, focus on your shared goals with your boss. By anticipating challenges and providing proactive solutions, you make your boss’s job easier while contributing to the company’s success. Regularly communicate your progress, especially when issues arise, and take responsibility when necessary. Transparent communication builds trust and shows that you’re a team player focused on mutual success, not just your own gain.

"As a CEO, I know managing up is about focusing on our shared priorities and goals. I make my boss's job easier by anticipating challenges and solutions, not just reporting problems. For example, when rolling out new project management software, I developed training programs allowing work to continue efficiently. My boss appreciated my solving issues proactively. 

Transparent communication is key. Recently, staffing problems caused delayed deliverables. I took responsibility immediately, explained the details, and proposed fixes to prevent future issues. Admitting mistakes and providing solutions builds trust in the relationship. 

I leverage my boss's experience, show their guidance is valued, and adapt to their style. The goal is benefiting the company, not personal gain. By simplifying their work and communicating openly, I've gained more responsibility without seeming self-serving. Aligning on shared success is how you manage up well."

Jay Owen, CEO, Business Builders

2. Communicate Clearly and Seek Feedback

Keeping your manager in the loop is crucial. Regularly update them on your priorities, tasks, and progress, and don’t shy away from asking for feedback. This shows that you’re engaged and committed to delivering results. When you face a challenging task, discuss how to prioritize it against other responsibilities, which demonstrates that you’re thinking about the bigger picture, not just your workload.

"Focus on clear and proactive communication. Keep your manager informed about what you're working on, how you're prioritizing tasks, and your approach to different projects. Don't worry about over-communicating; instead, ask your manager how they prefer to receive updates. Ask them whether they would like emails, calls, or meetings.

When you need clarification, ask directly, and repeat back what you've understood to ensure accuracy. If your manager can't provide clarity, suggest involving others, like a partner or client, to get the answers you need. Seek feedback regularly, not just to hear what went wrong but to understand what specific changes your manager wants to see.

When it comes to pushing back on tasks, be thoughtful. If something is simple and quick, it might be easier to just do it. But if a task is more demanding, don't refuse outright. Instead, discuss how to prioritize it against other tasks, focusing on how to best create value for the client or project. This shows that you're thinking about the bigger picture and not just your workload."

Simon Brisk, Founder & SEO Strategist, Click Intelligence

3. Define Suck-Up and Shape Relationship

Understanding what it means to be a “suck-up” is key to avoiding that perception. Identify the behaviors that might come off as insincere and steer clear of them. Instead, focus on building a relationship with your boss that’s based on mutual respect and collaboration. Being intentional about shaping your working relationship can help you avoid falling into the trap of simply trying to impress.

"Managing up effectively is nuanced, and there are two key considerations to start with. First, define what “suck-up” means to you and whose perception you're concerned about. Often, the fear of being seen as a suck-up stems from worrying about others' opinions, which might not be as significant as you think. Consider whether it's your supervisor, colleagues, or even your self-perception that you're worried about. Clarify what behaviors you associate with being a suck-up and whether these align or conflict with your values and goals.

Once you have that understanding, you can decide what managing up looks like for you.

I am a big advocate of being intentional about actively shaping your working relationship with your supervisor. Think about what you want this relationship to look like and what actions you can take to achieve that vision versus just letting the relationship develop haphazardly. You have control and agency in the relationship. Use it.

For instance, if you need more feedback, communicate this to your supervisor and frame your request in a way that aligns with their goals and preferences so they see it as being in their best interests as well.

Managing up is your side of what should be a collaborative effort where both you and your supervisor work together to design a productive and comfortable working relationship. By being intentional and proactive, you can build a dynamic that benefits both parties without coming across as a suck-up."

Phoebe Gavin, Career and Leadership Coach, Better With Phoebe

4. Deliver Value with Clear Communication

When managing up, focus on delivering tangible value rather than relying on compliments. Understand your boss’s goals and challenges, and proactively offer solutions that align with their objectives. By consistently delivering results and thinking ahead, you’ll demonstrate your value without coming off as disingenuous.

"Focus on clear communication and delivering value, not flattery. Understand your boss's goals and challenges, and proactively offer solutions or support that align with those. Regularly update them on progress and anticipate their needs, showing you're thinking ahead. When you bring ideas to the table, be confident but humble, presenting them as ways to help the team or company, not just to impress. This approach demonstrates initiative and reliability without crossing into sycophancy."

Alex Taylor, Head of Marketing, CrownTV

5. Add Value and Seek Development Advice

Balancing your development with adding value is essential. Rather than just agreeing with everything your boss says, seek their advice on how you can expand your skills and contribute more to the company. By framing your requests as opportunities for growth, you create a partnership that benefits both you and the organization.

"From my personal experience, I believe the key is finding the right balance. Don't just agree with your boss or compliment their every action. Focus on how you can add value rather than just relying on flattery to propel yourself in the company.

Let's say you're a project manager in a company with numerous departments. You can walk up to your boss with something like, “I’ve been thinking about how my experience in project management could be useful in other departments, and I’d like to take on more cross-functional roles. I’d love to get your advice on how I can develop these skills further.”

By involving your boss in your development and asking for their advice, you’re creating a partnership that benefits both you and the company without seeming like you’re just trying to gain favor."

James McNally, Managing Director, SDVH [Self Drive Vehicle Hire]

6. Embrace Vulnerability and Celebrate Team Success

Building genuine relationships involves embracing vulnerability. Share your challenges and celebrate the team’s successes, including your boss’s achievements. This approach fosters trust and shows that you’re invested in the collective success of the team, not just your own advancement.

"Building on the importance of a genuine relationship, it's also vital to embrace vulnerability in your interactions. Share your own challenges and successes; this fosters a sense of solidarity and trust.

When your superiors see you as a real person, rather than just a subordinate, they are more likely to value your contributions and insights. Remember to celebrate their victories as well as acknowledging their efforts—not only does this strengthen your bond, but it also demonstrates your commitment to the team's collective success.

Balancing respect for their authority with your unique perspective creates an environment where you can thrive as a collaborator and not just a follower. Ultimately, effective “managing up” is about nurturing relationships that inspire growth and innovation, rather than merely seeking approval."

Gregory Todd, Managing Director, tkskiphire.co.uk

7. Build Genuine Relationships and Align Goals

Focus on building a genuine relationship with your boss. Understand their priorities and align your contributions to support their goals. Be proactive in your communication, offering solutions to challenges and keeping them informed of your progress. Stay true to your own values by providing honest feedback and suggestions, which helps build a relationship based on respect and trust.

"Managing up effectively is all about balancing respect with authenticity. The trick is to focus on building genuine relationships and adding value without appearing insincere. 

I take the time to understand my manager’s priorities and challenges. This allows me to align my contributions with their goals, showing that I’m invested in their success as well as my own. And instead of waiting for instructions, I keep my manager informed about my progress and any potential issues. This not only demonstrates my initiative but also helps build trust by showing I’m on top of things.

Also, when I bring up challenges, I make sure to also suggest potential solutions. This shows that I’m not just bringing problems to the table but am actively engaged in finding ways to overcome them.

Most importantly, I stay true to my own style and values. Flattery or pretending to agree with everything my manager says isn’t my style. Instead, I provide honest feedback and suggestions, which builds a more authentic and respectful relationship.

Focusing on these principles helps me make my interactions constructive and appreciated, rather than coming across as sycophantic."

Raviraj Hegde, SVP of Growth & Sales, Donorbox

8. Document Achievements for Objective Review

Instead of verbally boasting about your accomplishments, document them. This approach allows you to showcase your achievements without appearing like a suck-up. Keeping a record of your contributions provides a clear performance tracker for your boss, highlighting your growth and potential in a more objective way.

"You risk appearing as a suck-up when you verbally announce your wins and learnings. However, if you document these same wins and learnings and formally present them, you are simply a diligent, proud, and self-reflective employee, chronicling their achievements to motivate others.

These records are now a source of your contributions and accomplishments, showcasing your strengths and areas of growth, and shining the spotlight on your skills, experience, and dedication. Without making it too obvious, and a far cry from sucking up, you have now presented through these documents and announcements a performance tracker that will help company leaders and decision-makers review your growth and potential without even hearing it from you."

Abraham Samuel, Co-founder, Boost My Domain

9. Focus on Company Growth to Get Noticed

One of the best ways to manage up is to contribute directly to the company’s growth. Being proactive in generating new business, finding leads, and increasing exposure will naturally attract the attention of upper management. When your actions directly benefit the company, recognition and rewards are more likely to follow.

"The best way to manage up is to figure out how to make the company more money. Being proactive in getting more accounts, more leads, more exposure are all great, proactive ways to get the attention of upper management. They will see your hard work, and then reward you with promotions. Learning how to grow accounts and earn more business is a great mindset to have because it shows that you are putting the health of the business first, and that's effective leadership, which will help you earn higher positions within the company."

Jeff Neal, Manager, Witmer Coatings

10. Solve Problems and Support Decision-Making

Effective managing up involves being a reliable problem-solver. Anticipate your boss’s needs and provide solutions that make their job easier. Presenting information in a way that supports decision-making, rather than adding to their workload, builds trust and shows that you’re a valuable team member.

"Effective “managing up” is about being a problem-solver for your boss. Anticipate their needs and provide clear, actionable solutions to make their job easier. It's about presenting information in a way that supports decision-making, rather than creating additional work. This approach builds trust and demonstrates your value as a team member."

Kimberley Tyler-Smith, VP of Strategy and Growth, Resume Worded

11. Build Respectful Relationships and Communicate Proactively

Managing up is about building a respectful, honest relationship with your boss. Align your work with their goals, communicate proactively, and provide solutions when needed. Being transparent and maintaining your integrity shows that you’re committed to the team’s success, not just your own.

"Effectively managing up is about building a strong, respectful relationship with your boss, not just trying to impress them. Start by understanding their goals and challenges, then align your work to support those objectives. Communicate proactively—share updates, ask for feedback, and offer solutions when issues arise. 

It's important to be honest and maintain your integrity; disagree respectfully when necessary. Show that you're invested in the team's success, not just your own. This approach demonstrates initiative and reliability without coming across as insincere."

Josiah Lipsmeyer, Founder, Plasthetix

12. Communicate Effectively Without Overburdening

Effective communication is key to managing up without overstepping. Keep your boss informed about major milestones and project progress, but avoid overwhelming them with unnecessary details. Focus on providing valuable insights that can help your boss be more effective in their role, and resist the urge to seek constant validation.

"You can manage up without coming across as a yes-person by learning to communicate effectively with your boss. Maintain open communication, in which you inform your boss about project progress, challenges, and successes. Additionally, share any insights you gain that could make your boss more impactful at their job. Good communication helps to build a healthy synergy that fosters trust and shows you are proactive.

In the course of this, it is important that you avoid the temptation to over-communicate. Keep your boss informed about major milestones instead of overburdening him or her with every detail. It is also crucial to avoid seeking validation, as this will reduce the impact of your efforts to manage up."

Clooney Wang, CEO, TrackingMore

Managing up is all about strikings the right balance between adding value and maintaining authenticity. By focusing on shared goals, delivering solutions, and building genuine relationships, you can manage up effectively without coming across as a suck-up. Remember, it’s about collaboration, not flattery, and when done right, managing up benefits both you and your boss.

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