Vivian Chen

For years, we’ve been told: Never burn a bridge. That advice was practically gospel, especially in high-growth industries like tech where networks, references, and reputations carry weight. The implication? Be agreeable. Be patient. Be the bigger person. But it’s 2025. And if you’re still playing by the old rules, you’re at a disadvantage. We’re in one of the toughest job markets in recent memory. Employers are laying off tens of thousands, often citing vague performance metrics as justification. Meta’s leadership recently stated that low performers will be let go and that expectations are rising, not falling. The message is clear: employer loyalty is out. Efficiency and bottom lines are in. Not long ago, companies went out of their way to preserve relationships with former employees. Alumni Slack channels, boomerang hiring strategies, even sponsored happy hours for ex-staff were common. There was a sense that good talent might leave and return. That mindset has largely disappeared. So if companies no longer care about burning bridges, why are professionals still afraid to? What “Burning a Bridge” Really Means Let’s be clear: this is not about revenge or drama. Burning a bridge is not sending a scorched-earth email. It’s about making a choice. It’s about protecting your peace, your values, and your future. It’s saying, I’m no longer available for relationships that drain me, devalue me, or distract me. Gallup’s 2024 State of the Global Workplace report found that only 23% of employees are engaged at work and over half feel actively disconnected or disrespected. Yet many of them stay, worried about how leaving—or being honest—might reflect on them. Staying for the sake of appearances does not serve your future self. When It’s Time to Walk Away Completely At Rise, I talk to thousands of job seekers and professionals every month. Many are stuck in a tug-of-war between maintaining relationships and moving forward. But here are five signs that it’s not only OK, it’s strategic to sever ties: You were treated as disposable. If you were laid off abruptly, ghosted after multiple interviews, or exited with no care or communication, you owe no loyalty in return. They only reach out when they want something. If a former boss, client, or coworker shows up only when they need a favor or introduction, that’s not a bridge. That’s a transaction. It’s costing your mental health. If staying in touch means reliving stress, guilt, or imposter syndrome, it’s time to cut the cord. You’ve outgrown the relationship. Some connections aren’t toxic, they’re just outdated. And that’s reason enough to move on. You are afraid to speak up. If you’re silencing yourself to stay in someone’s good graces, that’s a red flag. How to End Things with Integrity Burning a bridge doesn’t mean going full scorched earth. You can be clear, firm, and still professional. Here’s how: Keep it short and respectful. Try: “I’m focusing on opportunities that better align with my goals. Wishing you well.” Then leave it there. Don’t overexplain. You don’t need a 10-point justification to say no. Boundaries are valid without context. Let silence be a boundary. You’re allowed to ignore an email. Not responding can be the most powerful response. Stay grounded in values, not emotion. Walk away because you respect yourself, not because you want to prove something. The Employer-Employee Compact Has Changed The polite fiction of lifelong loyalty is gone. Employers are no longer pretending otherwise. If they can lay off thousands without warning or accountability, you can let go of the idea that you must preserve every past connection. More professionals, especially women, first-gen workers, and those from diverse backgrounds, need to feel empowered to say, “This doesn’t serve me anymore.” Too often, we are taught to keep doors open at all costs. But if the room behind that door is toxic, why walk back in? Let go of the performance of gratitude. You can appreciate the lessons while still choosing not to re-engage. Build Something Better in Its Place The most successful professionals I know didn’t get there by staying small. They got there by honoring their growth and building relationships that support it. If you’ve been wondering whether it’s time to finally cut ties with a past employer, client, or connection that no longer aligns, this is your sign. Strike the match. Let the bridge burn. And walk forward without looking back.

Vivian Chen

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